Learn to communicate
In order to communicate better with him, I started to pick up learning English all by myself. His English was good even though it is his third foreign language, but the pronunciation still having some Slavic accent. Sometimes I could not understand what he meant and will eventually lead up to a quarrel.
Due to these causes, I have thought of ending this relationship countless times, but again and again, it was through these communications that made us understand each other’s feeling and made us who we are. Gradually, we both knew that we should be cautious when communicating and it has to work only when both our effort aligned. We learned to feel each other deeper, understand each other culture and ultimately, communication plays a big part in our relationship.
Learn to get along with his friends
I’ve decided to leave my hometown to his country where he has many friends, but not all of them speak English. Again, communication is a really important factor, without communication, it’s difficult for me to get along well with them. I’m a person who doesn’t know how to express my feelings; beginning to have negative thoughts towards things. I always assumed that problems is caused by different cultures and languages and sometimes even blamed him for that. He did not know what happened and why I made things difficult for him from time to time, there came the inexplicable quarrel. After calming down myself, I tried to think why this happened and through all these experiences, I learned to better managed my feeling, better expressing my thoughts clearly.
Learn to stay with his parents
At the beginning I could not understand some of their culture, like “hand kissing”. But his family is patient in helping me understand their culture deeper. After knowing that I love animals, his grandpa took me to see all the animals in their home. His grandma found out that I like mint, so she started to put in effort in selecting a good mint seedling from their garden. His uncle taught me why they enjoy hand kissing and how to get used to it. Their behavior really touched me.
I’m trying to open myself more and learned different things.
Accept their custom
I’m the kind of girl who does not like boys to open the door for me. It makes me feel “Oh, I’m weak, I even could not open a door by myself”. So I preferred to open it by myself.
Later, he told me how important it is to “be a gentleman” here. Though he insisted he did not care about what other thinks of him but I can see it through his body language that revealed his anxiousness. This makes me feel uncomfortable seeing so. I’m learning to accept him and his custom; letting him do it, if he forgets, I’ll open it by myself.
It’s hard to find a job
Thought I’m really confident that I can find the job I want in Japan or China. But when I’m here, things changed, I started to lose my confidence. I’m feeling down and was negative, thinking that I could not earn what I deserved. This sense of difference made me decadence. But later, with his help, I calmed down and started it all over again.
Deal with medical
Setting appointment with doctors, medical insurance, etc. all these procedures are starting to get confused. The entire medical system here is very different from my hometown. This time, I will need to control myself well and take the challenge to learn all these.
Aware of Law
For some things, it’s normal to do it in your country, but in other countries, that might be illegal. At first, he would remind and tell me what to do and what not to. I can be quite frustrated with things without knowing the reason behind it and again, we quarreled. He could not understand why I’m behaving like this when he was trying to explain things to me. So we shared with each other about our feelings, tried thinking in each other shoes, took a step back and supported each other.
Facing different points of view
Whenever I hold different views of other, I will be rational about it. But when this involves my family doing so, I turned to an irrational person. So what we do here is to talk it out, point by point about our opinion. We are not trying to persuade each other but instead making sure we what both our thoughts are.
It’s normal to feel lose
When we first started dating, he is an assertive and honest man. But later, those values became hard and merciless.
But always tell yourself that, love itself is an adventure, it’s perfectly fine to face difficulties along the way. Be willing to accept each other’s unbearable and become a better version of you.
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